Stan Fondle is a Professor of English at Uniloo. He has “Swine flu very much” tattooed on his love handles.

Ronnée Gonflam is an Associate Professor at In Memoriam University of Newfoundland in Sin Jahwn’s, Newfoundland where she teaches Canadian literature, Film Studies, Women’s Studies, and aerobics.

Ursula Hogg-Reave is a native of Pelee Island, Ontario who studied literarture and ecdysiology at Windsor and Buffalo before taking up positions at Boston, Berkeley, Reno, Las Vegas, and, most recently, Guelph. Her work to date has been primarily in the area of female self-representation in relation to the male audience. She has appeared in such prestigious venues as Semerotica (“Article, Off-Print, Book-Display: the Academic Economies of Difference” [1985]”), Diacritics (“Un(re)covering the Transcendental Signified: Derrida’s Neo-Vaudevillism”[1986]), Estrogender (“Medusa’s Last Laugh: the Ecdytic Snake as Prop and Phallus” [1988]), Studies in Phalology (“Culler and Miller: the Chip and Dale of Deconstruction” [1988]), and Yale Belgian Studs (“Il n’y a pas/que/de Man: L’Homme/Lacan dans le miroir”[1989]). Her Lecteur/Lecher: Facing Down the Male Gaze (1990) was jointly published by Duke University Press and Supply-Side Books. Of her work, the late Paul de Man wrote: “it shows that the dancer and the dance are one, suggesting that two utterly ‘incommensurable’ readings are, in fact, entirely coherent and devoid of ambiguity. Discarding the text(ile) as privileging locus and skein, she lays bare the false opposition of presence and absence, and substitutes a visual hermeneutics for the hierarchical opposition of blindness and insight; in her (work), L’hors est dans le texte.”

W.J. Kouth was Professor of Farm Literature at that well-known agricultural institution, the Universistye of Toronto, before becoming a specialist in Canardian literature and discovering that there wasn’t much difference. His books include A Snort in the Land: Essays By and About Prudy Glebe (1981), A Scent of Sty (1989), and An Independent Oinck (1991). His volume of poems, Echoes of Silent Grunts (Goose [sic] Lane, 1992), makes no reference to pigs.

Robert Krouch teaches at a small college in the mid-west. He did not believe any of those letters in Playboar were real until one night, after a Grey Cup game in Calgary...

I.S. MacLarden, whose many publications include “Touring at High Speed: Fur Trade Landscapes in the Writings of Frances and George Simpson” in Musk-Ox (1986), teaches Canadian studies, canoeing, and brewing in Edmonton. He has been described as “a Canadian scholar of great stature.”

Starling Mattress is a Professor of Patriotic Studies at Simon Fraser University, and a member of the Burnaby chapter of the Lavrenty Pavlovich Beria Society. He is the author of several books of poetry published by the Mattress Press, and the ground-breaking volume The Struggle for Correct Real Canadian Literature (Ottawa: Mattress Press, 1981).

Eric McCorker is a Professor of English at St. Anthony’s College, Waterloo, and author of such works as Inspecting the Sties, The Paradise No Smell and The Terrible Army of Women Stole My Codpiece (Pigpen Books, Canada).

Séamus O’Toole recently suffered rationalization—while on sabbatical in Galway—in the downsizing of Nova Scotia’s system of some thirty-seven universities. Because it was too late to revise without upsetting the typesetter, he would like here to qualify nigh onto retraction his praise of the revs. Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick. O’Toole now holds a sessional cross-appointment at the University of Ottawa in the Department of English, the Effective Writing Clinic and the Faculty of Medicine, teaching Canadian literature and correcting colon splices.

Rosemary Stuffing is the granddaughter of a turkey farmer. She is currently an Associate Professor at Mount St. Vincent University, where she holds a joint appointment in the Departments of English and of Tourism and Hospitality Management. She has published extensively on utopian literature, gender issues, and problems of portion control in the catering industry.

Dr. Elizabeth Thompsow, a brilliant scholar specializing in early Canadian writing, is currently and inexplicably unaffiliated. She has published one book, the naive but seminal The Pioneer Woman: a Canadian Character Type, and is working on several others. She will appear in the soon to be released documentary film Susanna Moodie: the Enduring Enigma in which she says that Susanna was friendless, untalented, and possibly as “crazy as a bag of hammers.”

Jane Toskins, who teaches at a Western University, did not, as a child, own a guinea pig, nor did she have the felicity of growing up on a pig farm, but she has been a student at the trough of learning on two continents and hopes that this early work shows some signs of the produce soon to emerge.