FARMER
DOWNS CHANGES HIS OPINION OF NATURE.
|
|
“No,”
said old Farmer Downs to me,
“I ain’t the
facts denyin’,
That all young folks in love must be,
As birds must be a-flyin’.
Don’t go agin sech facts, because
|
5 |
I’m
one as re-specks Natur’s laws.
“No, sir! Old Natur knows a thing
Or two, I’m calculatin’,
She don’t make cat-fish dance and sing,
Or sparrow-hawks go skatin’;
|
10 |
She
knows her business ev’ry time,
You bet your last an’ lonely dime!
“I guess, I’m posted pooty fair
On that old gal’s
capers;
She allers acts upon the square
|
15 |
Spite
o’skyentific papers.
(I borrows one most ev’ry week
From Jonses down to “Pincher’s Creek.”)
[Page 121]
“It sorter freshens up a man
To read the newest notions,
|
20 |
Tho’
I don’t freeze much tew that thar plan,
About the crops ratotions;
You jest leave Natur do her work,
She’ll do it! she ain’t one tew shirk!
“I’m all fur letting Natur go
|
25 |
The
way she’s sot on choosin’.
Ain’t that the figger of a beau
That’s talkin’
thar tew Susan?
Down by the orchard snake-fence? Yes.
All right, it’s Squire Sims, I guess.
|
30 |
“He’s jest the one I want tew see
Come sparkin’; guess
they’re lyin’,
That say that of old age he be
Most sartinly a-dyin’—
He’s no sech thing! Good sakes alive,
|
35 |
The
man is only seventy-five!
“An’ she’s sixteen. I’m
not the man
Tew act sort of inhuman,
An’ meanly spile old Natur’s plan
To jine a man and woman
|
40 |
In
wedlock’s bonds. Sirree, she makes,
This grand old Natur, no mistakes.
“They’re standin’ pooty clus;
the leaves
Is round ’em like
a bower,
The Squire’s like the yaller sheaves [Page
122]
|
45 |
An’
she’s the Corn Flower,
Natur’s the binder, allus true,
Tew make one heart of them thar two.
“Yas—as I was a-sayin’, friend,
I’m all for Natur’s
teachins;
|
50 |
She
ain’t one in the bitter end
Tew practice over-reachins.
You trust her, and she’ll treat you well,
Don’t doubt her by the leastest spell.
“I’m not quite clar but subsoil looks
|
55 |
Jest
kinder not quite pious;
I sorter think them farmin’ books,
Will in the long run sky
us,
Right in the mud; the way they balk
Old Natur with thar darn fool talk!
|
60 |
“When Susie marries Squire Sims,
I’ll lease his upland
farm;
I’ll get it cheap enough from him—
Jest see his long right
arm
About her waist—looks orful big!
|
65 |
Why,
gosh! he’s bought a new brown wig!
“Wal, that’s the way old Natur acts
When bald folks go a-sparkin’;
The skyentists can’t alter facts
With all their hard work
larkin’,
|
70 |
A
sparkin man will look his best—
That’s Natur—tain’t no silly jest!
[Page 123]
“Old Natur, you and me is twins;
I never will git snarly
With you, old gal. Why, darn my shins!
|
75 |
That’s
only Jonses Charlie.
She’s cuddlin’ right agin his vest!
Eh? What? ‘Old Natur knows what’s best!”
“Oh, does she? Wal, p’raps ’tis
so;
Jest see the rascal’s
arm
|
80 |
About
her waist! You’ve got tew go
Young man, right off this
farm;
Old Natur knows a pile, no doubt,
But you an’ her hed best get out!
“You, Susie, git right
hum. I’m mad
|
85 |
Es
enny bilin’ crater!
In future, sick or well or sad
I’ll take no stock
in Natur.
I’m that disgusted with her capers
I’ll run the farm by skyence papers.”
[Page 124]
|
90 |
|
