THE
DEACON AND HIS DAUGHTER.
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He
saved his soul and saved his pork,
With old time preservation;
He did not hold with creosote,
Or new plans of salvation;
He said that “Works would show the man,”
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“The
smoke-house tell upon the ham!”
He didn’t, when he sunk a well,
Inspect the stuns and gravel;
To prove that Moses was a dunce,
Unfit for furrin travel;
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10 |
He
marvell’d at them works of God—
An’ broke ’em up to mend the road!
And when the Circus come around,
He hitch’d his sleek
old horses;
And in his rattlin’ wagon took
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His
dimpl’d household forces—
The boys to wonder at the Clown,
And think his fate Life’s highest crown.
He wondered at the zebras wild,
Nor knew ’em painted
donkeys;
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20 |
An’
when he gave the boys a dime
For cakes to feed the monkeys,
He never thought, in any shape,
He had descended from an ape! [Page 178]
And when he saw some shallow-pate,
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25 |
With
smallest brain possession,
He uttered no filosofy
On Nature’s retrogression.
To ancient types, by Darwin’s rule,
He simply said, “Wal, darn a fool.”
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30 |
He never had an enemy,
But once a year to meetin’,
When he and Deacon Maybee fought
On questions of free seatin’;
Or which should be the one t’rebuke
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35 |
Pastor
for kissin’ sister Luke.
His farm was well enough, but stones
Kind of stern, ruthless
facts is;
An’ he jest made out to save a mite,
An’ pay his righteous
taxes,
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40 |
An’
mebbe tote some flour an’ pork
To poor old critters past their work.
But on the neatest thing he hed
Around the place or dwellin’,
I guess he never paid a red
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45 |
Of
taxes. No mush melon
Was rounder, sweeter, pinker than
The old man’s daughter, Minta Ann.
I’ve been at Philadelfy’s show
An’ other similar
fusses,
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50 |
An’
seen a mighty sight of stone,
Minarveys and Venusses;
[Page 179]
An’ Sikeys clad in flowers an’ wings,
But not much show of factory things.
I’ve seen the hull entire crowd
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55 |
Of
Jove’s female relations,
An’ I feel to make a solemn swear
On them thar “Lamentations,”
That as a sort of general plan
I’d rather spark with Minta Ann!
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60 |
You’d ought to see her dimpled chin,
With one red freckle on
it,
Her brown eyes glancing underneath
Her tilted shaker bonnet.
I vow, I often did desire,
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65 |
They’d
set the plaguey thing a-fire!
You’d ought to hear that gal sing
On Sabbath, up to meetin’,
You’d kind of feel high lifted up,
Your soul for Heaven fleetin’.
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70 |
And
then—came supper, down she’d tie
You to this earth with pumpkin pie!
I tell you, stranger, ’twas a sight
For poetry and speeches,
To see her sittin’ on the stoop,
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75 |
A-peelin’
scarlet peaches,
Inter the kettle at her feet,—
I tell you, ’twas a show complete!
Drip, droppin’ thro’ the rustlin’
vine,
The sunbeams came a flittin’;
[Page 180]
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80 |
An’
sort of danced upon the floor,
Chas’d by the tabby
kitten;
Losh! to see the critter’s big surprise,
When them beams slipped into Minta’s eyes!
An’ down her brow her pretty hair
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85 |
Cum
curlin’, crinklin’, creepin’,
In leetle, yaller mites of rings,
Inter them bright eyes peepin’,
Es run the tendrils of the vine,
To whar the merry sunbeams shine.
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90 |
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But losh! her smile was dreadful shy,
An’ kept her white
lids under;
Jest as when darkens up the sky
An’ growls away
the thunder;
Them skeery speckled trout will hide
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100 |
Beneath
them white pond lilies’ pride!
An’ then her heart, ’twas made clar
through
Of Californy metal,
Chock full of things es sugar sweet
Es a presarvin’ kettle.
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105 |
The
beaux went crazed fur menny a mile
When I got that kettle on the bile.
The good old deacon’s gone to whar
Thar ain’t no wild
contentions
On Buildin’ Funds’ Committees and
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110 |
No
taxes nor exemptions.
Yet still I sort of feel he preaches,
And Minta Ann preserves my peaches. [Page
181]
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